Run, Ralphie, Run!

“The longer the planners delay, the more difficult will they find it to cope with climatic change once the results become grim reality.” — Newsweek, April 1975

The Simpsons is what it is. But the writers are pretty sharp, and the flawed humans they present in the show; well, sorry, but there’s a lot of us there.

I was reminded of the current climate debate when I watched young Ralph Wiggum in a recent episode of the show. He finds himself in a lifethreatening situation, and, seeing his predicament, Lisa urges him: “Run, Ralphie, run!”

The hapless Ralph obediently proceeds to run, full speed, in a circle.

The 1975 Newsweek article, an excerpt of which is included above, starts this way: “There are ominous signs that the Earth’s weather patterns have begun to change dramatically and that these changes may portend a drastic decline in food production—with serious political implications for just about every nation on Earth.”

Sound familiar? Even then, Newsweek and countless experts were breathlessly telling us, “Run, Ralphie, run!”

But wait. In 1975, according to that article in Newsweek (and “most experts”), we were on the cusp, not of global warming, but of a new Ice Age.

Headlines like these, we were led to believe, were surely only a few years away: “Commuters Ice Skate across Hudson River to Manhattan;” “Entire Orange Crop Freezes for Third Year.” (Hilariously, proposals to battle the looming Ice Age of the 1970s included melting the Arctic ice cap by covering it with black soot.)

Back then, of course, we were smart enough to recognize silliness when we saw it. And we didn’t really have a lot of spare cash to do battle with the earth’s atmosphere.

Today, however, it’s all different. Just ask Congressman John Hall (D., NY-19; Guitar, Orleans). Recently, he enthusiastically voted “Aye” for the “Cap and Trade” bill (Waxman- Markey), which is designed, at least in part, to end global warming. While the bill appears certain to wreck the economy for us and our children for decades, it should be a relief to know that at least we won’t have to worry about global warming.

“Run, Ralphie, run,” the Experts tell us. “Global warming will soon destroy us all!”

Obediently, we start running. . . in a circle, with Congressman Hall leading the way.

Mr. Sherwood is a resident of Lake Peekskill.